A dinner is like a dictatorship of appearances: you dress up, you laugh, you tell stories, you show off, you share memories and projects. Anxiety is hidden behind humour and sorrow is muffled in gales of laughter. And for just a few hours, you go along with it. And that’s key. If you have the right code and respect others, cordiality, hypocrisy, good humour, you can enjoy a great evening. But the masks fall on the way home.